Trawling Atlantis

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Hello again. A couple of comments at the end of ‘The Thin Line Between’ asked if this story will appear again. Well… here it is! Hope you enjoy it, whether it seems a little familiar or is totally new to you. Made a significant edit which I’ll point out at the end.

Three things influenced this story. Two songs and the BBC documentary series ‘Trawlermen’. If you want to watch a bunch of hard, northern Scotsmen sailing the seas, with the thickest accents imaginable, I can only recommend it.

*****

CHAPTER ONE

“What’s your name, son?”

“Christopher McDonald, though I’d prefer to be called Chris. Mates back home called me Macca.”

“McDonald? Well, you’re obviously not local from the accent. Have you got family over here?”

“Ancestry is in Inverness. My grandparents’ brothers and sisters still live there, well, those still alive anyway. My mother’s parents moved to Australia in the sixties. Dad’s family is originally from Glasgow, though further back along the line.”

“And what brings you all the way to Peterhead? I mean, apart from showing up here looking for a job.”

“It’s a long story, and to be honest, not one I really want to go into now. I know that doesn’t sound too good, considering I’m desperate for a job. Maybe one day I can explain it all. I’m not in trouble with the law, either here or in Australia. I’m here legally in the UK,” gesturing to the documents I had, “But I’m not allowed back home, primarily by my father. I decided it was best if I just left.”

“Sounds like one hell of falling out?” I nodded but stayed silent. “Very well. So, you’re here now, looking for work. Do you know what being a trawlerman involves?”

“Long, wet, tiring days and nights at sea.”

The captain laughed. “Very simply put but, yes, that’s about it. I’ll be honest, it’s very hard work. Weeks at sea as we look for a catch. Cold, wet and miserable most of the time on the North Sea, god forbid if we head anywhere near the Atlantic. And it’s bloody dangerous. I’ve lost two men while captaining my own vessel, both overboard, never to be seen again. Before that, I’ve worked on ships where men have been injured, maimed and killed. It can be a ghastly business.” He gestured to the plaque above the bar. “That’s the list of names of men lost since the turn of the 20th. Names are still added to this day. And not all the bodies are found. We’ve put many caskets into the ground which were empty.”

“I’m aware of the dangers involved. But days and weeks away at sea sound perfect.”

“The guys will give you a lot of shit to begin with. I hope you have broad shoulders.”

“I’d expect nothing less. I know I’m young, but I’m fit enough, willing to learn and want to do this.”

He cast me with a keen eye, judging my sincerity. Ever since leaving Australia, I’d wondered what I was going to do with my life. I knew I didn’t want to be stuck in an office five days a week. I wanted to breathe fresh air and feel the wind in my face. And I also wanted to enjoy the camaraderie of my fellow man. Since joining the forces was out, something I’d always considered doing, I started looking at other options, and remembered watching a documentary series on TV called ‘Trawlermen’. I found it rather interesting, the work looked gruelling, but I enjoyed watching the friendships of the men and the work, while hard, didn’t look too difficult. Sure, I’d have to learn, and learn fast, but I was willing to give it a go.

Captain Jack McTavish stuck out his hand. “I’m always willing to give someone eager to work a chance. We cast off two days from now. 5am. Don’t be late.”

I shook the offered hand. “Thanks, Captain. I won’t let you down.”

“If you do, I’ll throw you overboard myself.” My face must have dropped as he started to laugh. “Pulling your leg, lad. I won’t do that.” His face turned serious in an instant. “Because one of the others will do it for me.”

I chuckled nervously, as I knew he was probably right. “I’ll be on time and raring to go, Captain.”

I watched as he filled out some paperwork, stating I would now be employed and paid by him, handing me copies to sign and keep for myself, as he kept a copy while the third would be sent off to the government. Once everything was dotted and crossed, he shook my hand again, told me not to be late but to enjoy my last two days of freedom. The one suggestion he made would be the best piece of advice he ever gave me.

Get as much sleep as possible.

Of course, sleeping wasn’t something I wanted much of. If I slept, I would start to dream. And I would dream of her. The reason why I was now in Peterhead, Scotland, looking at being a trawlerman, instead of living back in Sydney, Australia, wondering what steps we would have taken in our lives together.

I sat at the bar most of the evening, chatting with the locals, always centre of attention once they heard my accent. Most of the questions were the same. What the hell was I in Peterhead for? Why the fuck would I want to be a trawlerman? Did I have a screw loose or a death wish? sinop escort I answered the first question easily, the second I handled rather deftly, and while I don’t think everyone believed me, they respected the fact I was an outsider willing to give it a go.

After a night on the ale, I headed up to the bedroom I’d occupied for the past week as I’d looked for work. There was little in the room. My large backpack. A double bed. A small bathroom with a shower, basin and toilet. Closing the door behind me, I just felt incredibly lonely, ostracised from my family, my friends left far behind.

I stripped down to my underwear and got into bed, flicking on the small TV, though there was little on and was feeling tired in minutes. Switching it off, I read my kindle for another five minutes at most before sleep overcame me and I started to dream. And, of course, my dreams were about her.

I missed her terribly.

*****

Alexandra, though she preferred Alexa, was my sister, born two years after me. From an early age, we were inseparable. I know she worshipped the ground I walked on, while she was always my cute little sister. We loved each other dearly, though I mean the innocent sort of childish love of the time. Before we hit puberty, we were just a pair of siblings who happened to actually like each other and enjoyed the other’s company. I know it made our parents lives easier, as Alexa and I were a real team. I’d help her with homework, as I had done exactly the same work two years prior, while Alexa just made me feel… good. She’d often come looking to me, even at a young age, simply to give her a hug, instead of Mum or Dad. At school, I was her big brother and protector, and being one of the bigger kids, no-one messed with my little sister.

I would have thought when both of us reached puberty, we would have drifted apart. But we didn’t. Even as I hit the mid-teens, we were still as close as ever. In fact, I think we were probably too close. I knew by the time Alexa hit her teenage years, she definitely had a crush on me, while my cute little sister was already developing certain womanly features impossible to ignore.

But while both of us noticed the changes, our relationship remained entirely innocent. I think the only people who may have been concerned would have been our parents. I can understand why, for example, when Alexa would snuggle up next to me on the couch when watching a movie. It would appear innocent, but my heartbeat would definitely increase and, being the young man I was, blood would flow to areas I wished it wouldn’t.

I think we knew our relationship may have been more than siblings, if we wanted it to be, when Alexa was around 16. I was 18, in my final year at school, ready for final exams, and had just finished talking to a friend about the end of year formal (otherwise known as prom to Americans.)

“Do you have a date for the end of year formal, Chris?” Alexa asked once I was off the phone.

“No, I haven’t asked anyone.”

“Why not?”

I just shrugged. “I don’t need one. If I could take my little sister, I would.”

She blushed. “You’d take me?” she asked quietly.

“Of course. Why not? What’s wrong with wanting to take my little sister on a night out?”

Alexa shrugged, blushing brighter, not meeting my eyes. “Chris?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Why have you never had a girlfriend?”

“I don’t need one, Alexa. I have you.”

She looked me in the eyes. “But, Chris, I can’t be your girlfriend.”

“I didn’t say you were, or you had to be, Alexa. I just mean… I prefer being around you than anyone else. To be honest, you’re far more mature than most of the girls I have to deal with on a daily basis anyway. I don’t hear the same crap out of your mouth. You’re intelligent, witty, make me laugh and….” I trailed off, not willing to share the last bit.

“And what, Chris?” she asked, nearly inaudible.

I took a deep breath and looked at her. “You’re blossoming into one hell of a beautiful young woman, Alexa. Any boy or man would be lucky to have you on their arm.”

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it, on the verge of tears, I think. “Thank you.”

“Just being honest, Alexa,” I said, squeezing her hand back, before dragging her in to give her a hug. Entirely innocent again, at least physically. Emotionally or psychologically, I think things were different.

After that one conversation, where I certainly insinuated I had other feelings than just those brotherly ones I’d always had, our relationship definitely changed. For the better in one way, as there was no doubt our crushes for one another were turning into something far deeper and meaningful. But for the worse in the other, as our parents were definitely aware of how close we were becoming and I knew they were growing concerned.

The one thing I knew I couldn’t or wouldn’t do was be intimate with my sister. Definitely not before she was an adult, as even though the age of consent in our country is 16, I knew I’d be fucked escort sinop legally if I tried anything as an 18-year-old. And god forbid anyone actually found out. But even though, with each passing day, week and month, I knew I wanted her, I wasn’t sure I could actually take that step into telling her how I felt, despite how obvious it was, and then actually doing the deed itself. I know she felt the same, insinuating enough over time, but I figured, being the older sibling, I’d have to make the first move.

So I left my feelings unsaid and tried to move on with my life, finding it slightly easier once I left school.

I knew I had to do something, and once I’d graduated, found a job and started working, it wasn’t long until my social circle expanded and I met Melanie. She was a couple of years older than me, but a stunning red haired, green eyed beauty, that I was immediately smitten with. I was told you shouldn’t shit where you eat (otherwise known as dating a colleague at work) but, once she reciprocated my interest, I asked her out and things developed from there.

We had sex within a fortnight of our first date. Obviously, she was my first and she was quite happy to show me the ropes. The difficult part was inviting her around to meet the parents and my sister. To say the reception from my sister was frosty would be an understatement, but underneath the cold stare, when she looked only in my direction, I could see the pain and heartache I was causing. But there was nothing I could do. I would have sat down and explained it to her, if I could, but I didn’t think that conversation would go well at all. In fact, I think it would have destroyed our relationship. Upon meeting Melanie, it was strained enough.

Melanie and I dated for around eighteen months before the night that changed everything. Did I ever love her? In a way, I did. As I said, I was smitten to begin with. She was attractive, rather bright and made me laugh. She was also my first, so there were the feelings that come with that too. But did I love her as much as my sister? I’ve got to be honest, I simply didn’t. I knew I was effectively ‘settling’ for her as the woman I truly wanted simply wasn’t available. Or, she was available, but not to me. I’m aware that makes me sound like an arsehole but… I was making a choice to protect myself and Alexa in the end.

The relationship between Melanie and I eventually turned rather serious, particularly once Melanie started to mention moving in together. Figuring that was a sensible move to make, I talked to my parents about moving out and they seemed quite pleased for me to finally leave the family home. Not in any bad way, but I was now a grown man, in a serious relationship, and they subtly suggested this was the first step towards possible marriage, kids and all that. Just thinking about marriage left me feeling cold, as I wasn’t sure I could ever do that to Melanie. I cared for her deeply, loved her in my own way, but that was one hell of a big step, a show of utter commitment.

And I just knew the vows I would state would be a complete lie.

But all the above was moot on the night I slept with my sister.

*****

Alexa appeared surprised to see me walk in the front door alone, a broad smile forming as she skipped forward to hug me. I just hugged her in return, certainly glad that our relationship had somewhat recovered since those early days when I started to date Melanie.

“Where’s Melanie?”

“She’s gone out for the night with the girls. Where’s Mum and Dad?”

“Said they were heading out for the night. Dad said ‘Don’t expect us back to the morning’. Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.”

“So it’s just us two?” I asked, unable to hide the smile.

“Looks like it. We haven’t had a night like this in quite a while.”

“Why aren’t you out, now that you’re 18 and all?”

Alexa just shrugged. “Going out and just getting shitfaced doesn’t interest me. Plus…”

“Plus?”

“I knew you were going to be home tonight. So I abandoned all my plans.” She hugged me tightly again. “I just wanted a night of having you to myself.” I’ll admit I liked the sound of that too. Probably a little too much, in all honesty. She pulled back, though still held me around the waist, looking into my eyes. “So, I’m thinking… I’ll make us dinner, then perhaps we could share a bottle of wine or two and watch a movie. Sound good?”

I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Sounds great, Alexa.”

I sat on a stool at the kitchen counter, watching Alexa cook our meal. She stood at around 5’6 and had pretty much stopped growing upwards. She had the most perfect pair of perky boobs possible. I mean, those things just sat there on her chest, even without a bra. I tried not to be too obvious as I wondered if she wore one now. She was slim, though not thin. I knew she exercised, but she had some subtle curves that nearly all men appreciated. Alexa was a brunette, a rather light brown, her hair in a simple ponytail. Definitely cute, as she bounced sinop escort bayan around the kitchen. She met my eyes, knowing I was staring, her blue eyes looking into my brown, watching a shy smile form, her lightly freckled little nose crinkling as she started to blush.

“What?” she asked quietly.

“Sorry. It’s just… You’re gorgeous, Alexa. I mean, I remember this cute little girl of five, ten or even fifteen years old following me around. I wonder where she’s gone and who this woman is in front of me.”

Alexa put the tray into the over before approaching me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing my cheek. “She’s definitely still here, though she’s now definitely a woman,” she breathed into my ear. Feeling her hot breath in my ear and then along my neck, I was hard in an instant.

I turned to look at her and I felt a desperation I’d never felt before, to simply hold her in my arms and kiss her. And I don’t mean the chaste kisses we’d always shared. I mean the sort of kiss that would result in lots of tongue, hands exploring bodies and… other things. But I took a deep breath, calmed my heartbeat and just smiled.

“She most certainly is.”

Two rows of pearly whites appeared before she kissed the tip of my nose. “I’ll just prepare some potatoes and veggies. Got to keep feeding your properly, Christopher.”

My erection having thankfully subsided, I grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and poured us a glass each. My sister rushed out of the kitchen to grab something, returning with her phone to put on a bit of music, bouncing around the kitchen as she continued cooking. She was absolutely mesmerising. I had to shake my head at times, emptying my mind of the million and one thoughts I was experiencing, all of them exciting but none of them feasible.

I couldn’t help but stare at her arse as she shook that, dancing along to some song I barely noticed. I had a feeling she was doing it all on purpose, and I didn’t care one little bit. Then she’d turn side on and I’d watch her boobs jiggle about, learning that she was definitely wearing a bra, but that didn’t matter. I had to resist the urge to get up and dance with her in a way that would be incredibly suggestive. I sat there and wondered if that was what she wanted.

After a couple of songs, she stopped dancing and walked towards me again, cuddling into me for a few minutes, resting her head on my chest. I cuddled her back, inhaling the scent of her shampoo, and she was definitely wearing some sort of perfume too. She smelled fantastic. She always did, to be honest.

“I miss you,” she said quietly.

“I know, Alexa. But…”

I heard the sigh. “I know. I know.” She lifted her head to look at me. “Part of me just wants to be selfish and keep you all for myself.” I could only smile, tempted to say I wouldn’t mind if she did. But I couldn’t be that honest. I had to jog my mind, and remind myself I was in a relationship with… Melanie, that’s her name.

Thankfully, the oven dinged before I could contemplate any sort of response, Alexa just smiling at me as she started to serve up two plates. We sat the dinner table, with another bottle of wine already opened, eating in contented silence, though Alexa would occasionally look at me and just smile. I automatically smiled in return, simply left wondering what was on her mind. If it was anything like mine, then something was going to happen. And I was unsure if I wanted to stop it if it did.

“What movie do you want to watch?” Alexa asked, once we’d finished dinner and cleared up.

“I’m easy, Alexa. Whatever you want.”

We ended up watching what I would have called a ‘chick-flick’, some romantic comedy from the UK. I barely paid attention, though, because before we got settled, Alexa grabbed a blanket from the cupboard, as the evening was rather cool, switching off the lights before covering us both in the blanket. She then snuggled into me, a hand resting on my chest as I wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. It was something I would have called rather intimate.

I think we’d barely watched half an hour before her hand started to slowly move up and down my chest, very slowly, very softly, but even that was enough to get my engine running. I just held Alexa that little bit tighter in response, running my hand up and down her side. My heartbeat was thundering in my chest as I thought ‘What the hell am I doing?’ The other part, the louder and larger part of my brain, was telling me to just do it. I know I wanted it. And I knew she wanted it too. It was finally time to give into temptation.

We must have been able to read each other’s thoughts, as we turned to look at each other at the same time. We just stared for what felt like hours before I lowered my lips to hers, kissing her for the first time. It was brief, only a few seconds, before I pulled back. She smiled before reaching behind my head and pulled me in, opening her mouth immediately and she readily accepted my tongue. She was on her back in seconds as we made out, the pressure that had been building up between us finally being released. My hands were already very busy, appreciating her soft skin and subtle curves. Hers were all over mine, feeling her smile as she kissed me, as I had developed rather broad shoulders and some defined muscles thanks to my job.

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