Nice Substitute

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Ass

Denise could drive me crazy in at least three different ways.

Number 1) she could be sulky, bossy, sarcastic, impossible to please and pathologically unreliable.

Number 2) she could be provocative, charming, seductive and frankly more dirty in bed than any other woman I ever met.

Number 3) there was no way to tell which of the first two she would be on any given day.

So it was always going to be a bad idea to drive one hundred and fifty miles in the hope of getting to fuck her. But when she emailed me that photo at lunchtime I thought I had pretty strong grounds for optimism…

Subject – Me in my boring hotel room

Hey FB!

I’m stuck at that boring conference in Baltimore and desperate for some entertainment. There’s a very big bed. Why aren’t you here?

Love

Dxxx

And the picture? Denise sprawled on that big bed in green and black lace lingerie, her hair tousled, her lips parted, one arm stretching up to hold the camera and the other slipped into her cute lace panties, her slim fingers stretching the fabric where they caressed the gorgeous cleft at the top of her parted thighs.

Hard to resist. I emailed her that I was on my way. I grabbed a new shirt and a few other essentials from a store near my office, emailed Penny from next-door to keep an eye on my place for the weekend, and began the drive to Baltimore, making the three hour journey with a more or less constant hard-on at the thought of beautiful, desperate Denise lying there wet and waiting for me. I imagined sucking her. Kissing her tits. Fucking her mouth, then her cunt and then finishing off by fucking her voluptuous ass. Then I was going to take her to dinner, and then we were going to do it all over again as often as possible until Sunday night. That was my plan.

What an idiot. I get there, park, and run awkwardly up the hotel steps with my cock trying to poke a hole in my pants. Then as I approach the reception desk I see Denise. She’s at the bar. She has her coat on. And her bag packed.

She walks over. “Hey!” she says and kisses my cheek.

“Hi!”

“Babe I am so sorry but I’m going. It’s all done!”

“But… the email?”

“Oh, I know. It was a cute picture wasn’t it? Did you like it? I tried to send it Wednesday but they only got the wifi working in the room today. I thought you’d still want to see me in my best underwear. The conference got less boring after that but I wish you’d come earlier.”

“But… I’m here now. Why don’t you stay another night?”

“I would love that so much. But I’m flying to LA for Sandie’s wedding… Aw honey.” She leans her head towards mine and adds in a whisper “Did you drive all this way just to fuck me?” and she trails a hand casually across the front of my trousers, her fingertips brushing against my erection. She smiles up at me. “That is so sexy… Oh, I think that’s my cab.”

So now it’s 10.30 at night and I’m nearing the end of my three hour drive home, with nothing to keep me company but my bad mood and my frustrated cock. I park the car in the drive. I slam the car door louder than my neighbours would like. I need a drink. And then I really need to jerk off. I open the front door.

I guess we are all know how our houses ought to sound when they’re empty, so straight away I know there is someone else in there. I stand in the hall listening. I’m a big guy and in good shape for 38 but I’m totally unarmed. I think “Terrific. Now I’m going to get murdered. The perfect end to a perfect day.”

At the door to the living room I hear someone breathing. If they are a murderer they are very shy. I break the silence. “Hello?… Is there someone there?”

A small rustling. Then… “Mr H?”

“Penny?”

I switch on the light.

“Um… sorry if I frightened you,” she says.

I should tell you about Penny. She’s the au pair for my neighbours’ kids and she comes round to clean my place for some extra money once a week. She’s pretty but without ever showing it off. Maybe she’s not even aware of it. I’ve certainly never seen her wear make up. I guess she’s about 22, and she’s sporty, athletic even, which must help when she’s racing around after the Morrison’s terrible kids while their parents sit on the deck and bitch at each-other about who does the least for the family.

Penny only ever seems to wear a t-shirt, running shorts and sneakers and I doubt her wardrobe contains anything like a cocktail outfit or a pair of high heels. She has light brown hair cut short in a boyish style, and she usually has a big smile with just one intriguing lop-sided dimple that gives a little sardonic twist to her wide-brown-eyed nice-girl look.

She isn’t smiling now. Penny is looking awkward.

“Hi, Mister H…”

“Wow, you’re working late. And in the dark.”

“Mm. Well, yeah. I actually cleaned earlier. But I… I think I left a book here so I came back to look for it just now. Sorry.”

“Not a problem. Did you find it?”

“No. I think maybe I didn’t leave it here after all. So I should- “

“Well, bahis firmaları I can help you look.” I walk past her into the living room “What was the book? I was going to have a glass of wine. You want one? I’ve had a really frustrating day.”

“No. I… “

I’m not a tidy guy but there are some things I always put away. So there was only one possible explanation for what I see then on the coffee table. The box for a DVD that I always keep right at the back of the cabinet. The artwork is eye-catching: a big-breasted young woman with scarlet lipstick and a mass of black curls. She’s wearing a studded leather corset and thigh-length boots and is licking the tip of a flintlock pistol. It’s that classic masterpiece of European cinema “Pirate Slut 3: Lust at Sea.”

“Well, maybe you didn’t find your book, but I see you found something else interesting…”

“Oh God!” she says. She stands there in the doorway blushing, staring at the rug. “I’m sorry Mister H… I really should go.”

“Is red wine OK? I’ve got a bottle open.”

“I’m really sorry. I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t worry about it. I guess I’m the one who should be embarrassed. Look what you found in my house… Ah well. We’ll both just have to just learn live with it.” I pour the wine and hand her a glass.

She takes it. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Not at all. Maybe surprised? Not mad.”

She sits on the arm of the sofa and takes a gulp of wine. “Thanks” she says.

“It’s just a dirty movie, Penny.”

“I found it when I was here earlier… I was just curious to see what it was like, is all. I didn’t watch much of it.” She runs a hand through her soft brown fringe.

“Nothing wrong with being curious.”

She blushes again and gives me a hint of that smile, then drinks again.

“How are the Morrisons?” I ask.

“They’re the same as ever. Good I guess.”

“Jimmy looks like a gorilla on a tractor when he mows that lawn.”

She laughs and I see that dimple again.

“How long have you been there?”

“About six weeks. It’s just until I start my Masters.”

“Well, they’re lucky to have you. You work really hard. I’ve seen you. You’re a blur of speed. Like Road-Runner.” I sit on the sofa and pick up the DVD case. It’s empty, so the disc must be in the player. “Did you enjoy it?”

“I just… It was… I don’t know… different.”

“Different from what?”

“Well… everything in my life is so… nice, you know? Sometimes it gets kind of… irksome”

“Irksome?”

“Sorry, English major.”

“It’s a good word. It’s expressive. How is being “nice” irksome? I’d assumed you were being a nice girl deliberately.”

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“I mean “nice” is how you present yourself to the world. It’s a good thing. The world needs nice people who are great with kids and keep everything neat and tidy and don’t drink too much and say please and thank you and just generally make the world a better place. And that’s you.”

“Oh great.”

“People see you and they think, “What a nice girl!”. That’s your whole thing.”

Penny looks like she can’t decide whether to laugh or get mad.

“I mean guys don’t look at you in your pink t-shirt and sneakers with your pretty smile and ever think “Man she looks dirty!” do they?”

And now she does laugh. “You don’t know anything about me, Mister H. Or how much of a “nice girl” I am. You should make more of an effort to find out about someone before you judge them. I’m sorry if that sounds preachy but it’s true.”

“OK. Let me find out… Drum roll please for the “Is Penny a Nice Girl” Quiz. Round 1. Underwear.”

“What??”

“If you’re a nice girl all your underwear is going to be practical cotton in pastel colours. If you’re a little bit dirty you’ll have some lingerie.”

She thinks for a while. “Not that it’s any business of yours, but… I have a pretty lace bra? It’s… kind of cute.”

“Color?”

“Pink.”

“Pink and kind of cute isn’t dirty.”

“Well it can look sexy.”

“Are you wearing it now?”

“What?! No!”

“Well, I’m unconvinced. I don’t think you’re capable of being anything but nice.”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

“OK. Round 2. Do you own any toys?”

“Like… like sex toys? No! Jeez!”

“OK. It’s just a quiz. We’ll move on. Round 3. Boyfriends! Do you have a boyfriend?”

She hesitates for a moment. “Yes.”

“And on a scale of glancing modestly at each other across the library to hot sex ten times a day, where would you place you and your boyfriend?”

“Anthony hasn’t got a dirty bone in his body.”

“You’re not telling me he doesn’t go to bed with you?”

“Yes. Of course. Sometimes. But he’s really studying hard so we don’t have much time together.”

“What? He ought to be… Well, let’s just say I think Anthony is seriously wasting his life opportunities!”

“He’s… gentle. Respectful.”

“Sounds fun.”

“He can be fun sometimes! He’s a nice guy.”

“And you’re a kaçak iddaa nice girl. You make a good couple. Maybe you’ll get married, settle down. Have nice kids of your own.”

“Well maybe I will do that, if I want to.”

“OK. But zero points in the quiz so far and it’s the final round! So, last question… complete the following sentence. I wanted to watch Pirate Slut 3: Lust at Sea because…”

“It’s just… I wanted to see… I don’t know! Look, I should really go…”

“You can’t go now! Your score is still zero!”

“Oh, for God’s sake. OK… Because I’ve never in my life watched a dirty movie and I’m bored with being nice?”

“Better, but you’re still way short of a prize!”

“What? OK. I thought it would be fun to watch it and get myself off.”

“Yay! You do have a dirty side.”

“Thanks. I think.” She looks down at her glass and is surprised to see it empty. “Is the prize more wine?”

“Whatever you like.” I refill her glass. “So now we’ve established you’re a little bit dirty, I guess I could let you watch the rest of the movie?”

Penny is quiet for a moment. “OK.”

I turn the lights down and press play.

If you haven’t seen Pirate Slut 3, it has a lot in common with Pirate Slut 1 and Pirate Slut 2 though personally I believe it’s the finest part of the Pirate Slut trilogy. And if you haven’t seen them they have a lot in common with every other porn flick ever made.

Penny sits at one end of the sofa. I sit at the other. On the screen the story unfolds…

Julietta, the Governor’s daughter, is meeting the gallant Captain Leonard for the first time. She is a buxom blonde, and he is tall, dark and pretending to be handsome. He kisses her hand. She leans on the mantelpiece. He kisses her neck. She undoes her dress. And then unusually for an 18th Century romance, but not unusually for a porn movie, after three minutes of acquaintance Captain Leonard is licking Julietta’s big, tanned tits and she’s doing a lot of excited gasping. Penny watches with a sardonic smile.

“Really Mister H. This is shocking behaviour for a governor’s daughter,” she says.

“Well, this is exactly why she should have had a chaperone.”

“Whatever would Jane Austen think?”

“I think she’d get off on it.”

“Yeah, maybe you have a point.”

Now Julietta is on her knees. She’s kissing the bulging front of the Captain’s breeches. Penny tucks her feet up onto the sofa.

“Oh I say!” she says in a comical British accent that makes me laugh out loud.

And now Captain Leonard’s cock is out. Julietta holds it. It looks about ten inches long and is thick and heavy in her hands.

“Oh I say!” says Penny.

And now Julietta kisses the tip of it, and licks it up and down, and now Captain Leonard’s monstrous cock slides between her wide-stretched lips and she’s sucking him with enthusiastic skill.

“Oh… I… do… Bloody…say!” But that’s the last thing Penny does say and now she just stares at the luxurious filth of the expert blow-job. She’s breathing a little harder now and occasionally shifting her trim little body around on the sofa. And although I know the movie inside out, watching Penny watching it makes it more arousing than it’s ever been before.

Penny is transfixed as minutes of cock-sucking pass, then Julietta’s dress comes off leaving just white stockings and a necklace and the Captain’s tongue flutters across Julietta’s swollen clit. Penny uncurls a little and now sits sideways, resting her back against the arm of the sofa, and her legs stretch out until her feet rest on my thigh. We both sip our wine.

And now Captain Leonard presents his cock at the entrance to his lady-love’s wet and shaven cunt.

And Penny lets out a barely audible whisper, “Fuck her!”

On screen the thick cock nudges its way between the parted labia and the Captain shoves it in. Julietta gasps and the fucking begins in earnest. It is thorough and filthy. It’s shot so as we don’t miss a moment of the Captain slamming into that accommodating cunt, unless it’s to see the bouncing of Julietta’s creamy tits or her parted red lips. Meanwhile Penny’s arm rests on the back of the sofa and her thumb may or may not be gently sliding back and forth over her nipple but her lips are certainly parted. Now Julietta turns round and the Captain takes her from behind. Slap, slap, slap go his hips against her broad white ass. “Oh, oh, oh!” moans Julietta. Penny’s feet press a little more firmly against my thigh.

“Fuck her!” she whispers.

I drape my arm over Penny’s leg, and softly stroke my fingertips along her inner thigh. Her legs part a little. Her eyes stay firmly on the screen.

And now Julietta’s hand is in-between her legs and she touches herself while the thick cock pistons in and out of her. And my fingers slide further up Penny’s thigh, and under the hem of her shorts, until I feel her panties. I rest my fingertip there against the dampening fabric.

Penny makes a tiny moan, and shifts her position, pressing her crotch harder against kaçak bahis my fingers and spreading her legs wider, and now I start to stroke her through the moist cotton as on screen Julietta begins to climax on the Captain’s thrusting cock.

Julietta’s orgasm is pure porn-star, lewd and showy, and as she watches Penny presses her crotch against my hand impatiently. I take the hint, slip the gusset to one side and slide a finger into her hungry cunt. And as I start to finger-fuck Penny the Captain withdraws his cock from Julietta, and pumps endless spurts of cum over the cheeks of her ass.

We cut away from the scene, and my finger is still gently fucking Penny as we meet the Pirate Slut and her ship’s crew of girls in tight leather. They have a map, and some flagons of something, and a prisoner and they are partying hard after their latest pirate victory. And then the Pirate Slut gives the prisoner an unusual dilemma. Either he has to walk the plank or lick and suck her until she comes on his tongue.

“I like her. She’s sort of feisty.”

“You’re enjoying yourself?”

“Uh-huh.”

My finger continues its gentle rhythm in Penny’s soft wet cunt. “Me too.”

“You still think I’m a nice girl, Mister H?”

“Not exactly. Although it’s pretty hard to seduce you when you keep calling me Mister H!”

“Who says it’s you seducing me?”

I give this a bit of thought. “Whichever way round it is, it’s working for me.”

She gives her mischievous smile and nods at the screen, where the prisoner is lapping at the Pirate Slut’s glistening wet clitoris. “Now Mister H, I really want you to do that to me.”

Penny stands up, and quickly strips off her shorts and panties. Her ass is trim and her cunt has a beautiful neat thatch of light brown hair. She sits back on the edge of the sofa and spreads her legs for me. God she is beautiful. Her inner thighs are smooth and golden, her coral-pink cunt like a soft wet mouth with lips parting to kiss the intimate secret of her clit. I kneel between her legs.

Penny tastes of honey and salt and caramel. Her cunt responds to every little caress or flick of my tongue. I close my eyes and all I am aware of is the feel and taste of her on my mouth and Penny’s gentle whimpers of pleasure amongst the cruder groans and grunts from the TV. I suck, and lick, and taste and drink in her sex and she holds my hair, pulling my mouth into the warm musk of her crotch as the Pirate Slut is licked and sucked. Then I hear a change of mood from the TV. I know the Pirate Slut is about to get thoroughly fucked. And now my cock is twitching and throbbing and straining with the anticipation of slamming home into Penny’s sopping and glorious cunt. I sit back.

“If you want to follow her example… shall I get a condom?”

“Oh… “

“What’s the matter?”

“I… I don’t think it would be fair to Anthony.”

“Oh. OK. So… you think we should stop?”

“I really really liked what you were doing.”

“Me too Penny. A lot. I mean a whole lot.”

“Mmm.” And she spreads her legs a little wider to invite me back.

“I really really want to fuck you Penny.”

“Me too. But… I mean I think all the fooling around is ok. And the sucking. But I think if you put your… if you put your cock in my… in my pussy it’s sort of like I’m betraying Anthony. I don’t know why. That’s just how it feels. I’m really sorry.”

“I knew you were nice.”

“Maybe I am deep down. It’s not fair on you though. I feel bad.”

“Don’t. I’ve had fun.”

“And please… I don’t want us to stop doing other stuff.”

In the movie The Pirate Slut has finished her fuck and her sidekick Rosie is sucking the prisoner’s cock with lewd gusto. Penny watches and her fingers absent-mindedly touch her cunt.

“I mean, I know there’s some stuff I can do for you,” she says as she watches pirate Rosie take the prisoner’s load on her tongue and grin a sticky grin to the camera.

“What can you have in mind?” I smile.

“I don’t want you to miss out.”

Penny undoes my belt, unzips my pants and inexpertly pulls out my cock. It feels amazing just to have her hold it in her soft hands. She strokes it. She kisses the tip. She licks the pre-cum from around the head and a sticky silver string of it clings to the point of her tongue. Then she puts the dome of it into in her pretty mouth and gently seals her pink lips around the shaft and she starts to suck.

Then she looks up at me for approval and when her eyes meet mine my cock leaps at the sight of her beautiful face. Her mouth makes a perfect haven for my aching, frustrated erection and she bobs her head back and forth as enjoy the delicious wet slurp of her saliva up and down my shaft.

But somehow Penny’s lost her confidence and as the action on screen moves on she lets me fall from her mouth.

“I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve ruined the mood,” she says.

I kiss her head, and I sit beside her and just put an arm around her and we watch a few more scenes. We drink a little more wine, we make fun of the corny dialogue, and we kiss and caress as the action unfolds. And I think maybe that’s it. And it was good. And I should be glad of the fun I’ve had with this pretty, funny, smart and slightly confused girl.

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