Lunch Date with Mum Ch. 01

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Perfect Ass

My name is Greg, I’m 33 years old, about 5’10, pretty good looking, even if I do say so myself, developing a bit of a ‘dad bod’ after the recent lockdown, nothing major, but could probably do with fishing out that gym membership I left to die at the bottom of my wallet! I’m recently single, my last girlfriend, Izzy dumped me the classic way, she let me catch her fucking some other guy in our bed, so that was a fun build up to a weekend! I was heartbroken and went home to see my mum. She was great with it and genuinely made me feel so much better about everything, I stayed over in my old room and left the next morning feeling a thousand per cent better. My mum has that effect on me, she truly is an angel sent from heaven!

A bit about my mum – her name is Astria, (I know! Grandma and grandpa were a bit hippy dippy!) but everyone calls her Bunny. She is 51, just over 5 foot tall, with short bobbed blonde hair and she’s an absolute knockout, and I’m not just saying that, she is beautiful inside and out, with piercing blue eyes and a smile that is genuine and would melt any man’s heart. She is the epitome of the MILF next door, homely, but sexy with it. She has an amazing figure and doesn’t look a day over 40. In my opinion, she is the perfect mould for the dream woman, not fat, not skinny, a nice peachy bum and perfect breasts for her size, but then, maybe I’m biased?! She takes good care of herself, with what she eats and making sure to exercise, even if it’s just walking to the shops, where most people would pack up the car and stuff the family in the back for a road trip to the neighbours house, 25 yards away!

Growing up, most of my friends called her a MILF, which at the time genuinely annoyed me, but honestly, now, I’m proud. I love being out with her, she only looks a few years older than me and most people mistake her for my girlfriend, which we both find amusing but she is always quick to correct anyone who says it, which is usually bar staff and waiters, then we have a good laugh about it with them and honestly, you’d be surprised how many times it happens!

So, to my story. It was a bright Saturday morning, I had slept in, it was nearly 11. I was just sitting down for a cuppa, when my phone rang. I picked up on the second ring to the melodic, sing song tones of my mother. Dad had let her down, AGAIN, promised to take her out tonight, but had just had to bail because of some important client, requiring him to work today and go out for drinks later, translated as: to a strip club, instead of taking mum out he cancelled on her and was, as we spoke, on his way to work.

‘I’ve had enough of him, he always puts work first, so I’m putting me first, for a change, so, with that in mind, what you up to today? fancy taking your old mum out to lunch? I fancy a drink!’

‘Mum, you’re not old! I wish you’d stop saying that! You’re only as old as the man you feel!’ She laughed down the phone,

‘Well, today I want to feel 33 again!’ She giggled at her joke and even though I was miles away and no one was around, I could actually feel myself blushing!

‘Mum! Stop it, you’re incorrigible!’ She was! She had a devilish sense of humour and it’s probably the reason we got on so well and were like best friends, telling each other everything, well, almost everything, but we’ll get to that!

‘Sure, I’d love to take you to lunch, I’ll jump in the shower and come round about half 12, is that good?’

‘Perfect baby boy, it’s a date!’ We said our goodbyes and hung up.

I sat there for a moment, thinking about the call, especially the last sentence, ‘it’s a date’. It echoed around my brain, she’d never said anything like it before, I’m sure I was overthinking it, but here’s my problem. You know I said we told each other everything? Well, technically that’s not true. I’d had a tiny. incy wincy bit of a crush on my mum for as long as I can remember. When my mates used to call her a MILF, I got mad because I imagined they would all like to take advantage of my mother and do things to her I definitely wouldn’t approve of. Of course I know it was all big talk from them and they would never dream of saying, never mind DOING anything about it with her, but as a young teen, I discovered I was jealous. I was jealous of my friends, because, even as remote a possibility as it was, the stars would have to do some SERIOUS aligning for anything to happen with any of the idiots I called friends, there was still the tiniest of possibilities and yet with me, who, at the time, pretty much had 24/7 access, nothing would EVER happen, no matter how many billions of stars lined up perfectly, she was my mother and I was her son and never the twain shall meet.

I understood this and for the most part buried my feelings. But that didn’t stop me subtly ogling her on family vacations as she sashayed along a beach in a small, but relatively conservative, 2 piece or hiding behind the curtain in the spare bedroom and rubbing myself when, on a rare hot day zonguldak escort in England, she sunbathed in the back garden, there was even one time, she must have been feeling adventurous and not realising I was in the house, she sunbathed topless! I painted the curtains that afternoon and spent more time trying to get the stains out and the smell, before mum realised. I think I managed it, as she never said anything and I’m pretty sure I did a good job of clearing up after myself!

As I grew older, I progressed to raiding the laundry hamper on occasion. I would take her knickers to my room and hold them to my face taking deep breaths, inhaling her sweet scent and then finally doing the unthinkable. masturbating with them in my fist and using them to finish into. I would always bury them back in the middle of laundry so she wouldn’t discover them, I was pretty good at hiding my tracks!

So as you can see, my whole life I wished we lived in an alternate universe where it was ok for sons to date their mothers and fall in love in a society that welcomed the union, rather than this reality where we’d have furniture thrown at us and a special bulletin as a final story on the news!

I had felt the pangs for years, but in the pit of my stomach some weird juju was building. I thought a cold shower might help, so I finished my tea and jumped into the shower stall, only to give up on that idea about 6 seconds into my cold shower. I stood shivering outside of the stream waiting patiently, shivering until the hot water kicked in. That was better!

After showering and shaving, I spent 30 seconds picking an outfit. What? I’m a guy, I look good in everything I own, that’s why I own it! I slapped on some aftershave, checked myself in the mirror and not knowing what I expected, as I always look this good, grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

It was nearly midday, so I’d be over at mum’s with plenty of time to spare. I jumped in the car and drove over to pick up my beautiful lunch date, my mother.

Despite getting there about 10 minutes early, when I rang the doorbell, mum answered in only a few seconds and was ready to go. When I say ‘ready to go’, I mean, I actually stepped back with my mouth hanging open, gawping at her. She was an absolute knock out. She had done her hair in a side parting and she wore minimal make-up, mainly because she didn’t need to, she was such a natural beauty, she had never needed to pile on the war paint, like most women did. She was wearing a figure hugging blue dress and let me tell you, it hugged her figure in all the right ways, her boobs were pushed together and heaving to be set free from the confines of the dress. She beamed when she saw my reaction and did a little twirl, giving me a view of the back side too. All my pent up teenage frustrations were beginning to boil to the surface.

‘Mum, you look amazing,’ I took her hand and held it out to her side. ‘Is this new?’ I said nodding towards her dress, I could barely take my eyes off her impressive tits.

‘Yes, your father got it for me a couple of weeks ago, he just doesn’t know it yet!’ She laughed at her joke, then spun on her heels and walked into the house. I watched her sway down the hall and pick up her keys from the kitchen, she slipped into some shoes by the door, the whole time I’m just staring at her curvy body in this dress. I could feel the blood begin to pump and I was sailing at half mast. I quickly slipped my hand into my pocket and adjusted myself, so mum wouldn’t see what a disgusting pervert she’d raised! She picked up her purse and walked up to me and closed the front door. She locked it and began to move down the path towards my car, I was still ogling every move she made. She looked back at me,

‘Come on, slow coach, all the wine will be gone by the time we get there, at this rate!’ I snapped out of my trance.

‘Oh, yep, right, sorry, on my way.’ I skipped up the path behind her and as we got to the car, I opened the door for her and held it as she got in.

‘What a gent, your mother would be proud.’ If only she knew, I doubt ‘pride’ would be the word she’d use! I smiled and watched as she slid her right leg in first and then fell into the seat and pulled her left leg in after her. From my vantage point, I had a great view of her legs and up her skirt as she got in my car. I carefully closed the door. I was going to have to get a hold on myself, I couldn’t keep perving at my mum all afternoon. As I walked around the back of the car I gave myself a couple of slaps, hoping they might knock some sense into me and for the most part, they didn’t!

I slipped into the driver’s seat next to her, looked over at her and asked, ‘where to?’

‘Do you want to go to The Sun?’ I thought for a moment. We’d been there before with dad and I’d been there with friends, so there was a fair chance we’d bump into someone we knew and I wanted to go somewhere no one knew us, so I could zonguldak escort bayan relax and not get caught drinking in every curve of my beautiful date’s body.

‘Errr, no, we go there all the time, let’s try somewhere different’ I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

‘OK, what about the Cricketers or the Leathurn?’ As you can tell, my mother has quite an extensive knowledge of the local watering holes. I took out my phone and did a Google search.

‘What about this place? The Squirrel? I’ve not been there before and it’s not right in the middle of town, so parking won’t be too bad, what do you think?’ I handed her the phone.

‘Yeah, looks nice, let’s give it a try.’

So, decision made I started the car, slipped the address into my sat nav and started the short journey. It only took about 25 minutes to get there. I had to park right at the back of the car park as it seemed most of southern England had had the same idea as us and had headed to the squirrel for lunch.

I parked up, squeezed out of the car and being the gentleman I am, went round and opened mum’s door for her. I held my hand out for her and she took it as she swung her left foot out of the car, planted it on the gravel then squeezed into the tight corridor between my car and the car next to me. From my vantage point, this time I got a magnificent view down her cleavage as she stood and got out of the car. I shut the door when she was clear, and for a moment we were pressed up against each other between the cars. There was an awkward moment when mum just stood in front of me facing me, and I was right up against her body, before I realised she was waiting for me to turn around and lead the way to the pub.I did that weird penguin waddle and rotated around 180 degrees, being careful not to scratch either car or set off any alarms

I slipped out from between the cars and mum followed, we started the 2 day trek towards the pub and she slipped her arm in mine and pressed up against my side as we made our way around the cars. We didn’t speak, just walked arm in arm in comfortable silence.

There were a lot of people spilling out of the pub and in the picnic tabled grounds all around the building. As we got to the door we made our way through several guys, all of whom took the opportunity to check my mum out and ogle her tits as they bounced past. As she passed them, each guy looked at me and smiled, I got a slap on the back and one of them made a face like ‘wow, well done mate’ and brought his hand to his mouth in an overdramatic kiss you might expect from an Italian chef who had tasted his own cooking and was over the moon with the results.

I just smiled as I walked through the crowd. It was quite crowded inside as well, but as it was a relatively nice day, most people seemed to be outside enjoying the brief 20 minute window of sunshine England was going to offer this week. I didn’t want to lose mum in the crowd, so as we walked I was right behind her and had my hand on the small of her back and her waist, just above her bum. It was a move a guy might do with his girlfriend, not necessarily a son with his mother.

We made it to the bar, the crowd parted for mum like the Red Sea, she got to the front and I squeezed in right behind her. With all the attention mum had been getting and the idea in my head that they probably all thought this was my girlfriend or wife, I had a difficult time trying to internally reason with my body and ask it to politely STOP pumping blood towards my groin! It was a losing argument on my part, so my semi erect cock was now planted just above her waist. I was going to need to adjust myself, but probably not right at this moment, cramped in a tight crowd of people at the bar.

‘She half turned her head and asked me if I wanted to leave and go somewhere else, but to be honest with you, I was loving the intimacy we were sharing right now. I’d never pressed my growing hard on into ANYONE for this long, never mind my own mother! I made the excuse that we were here now, we may as well, at least, get a drink. She seemed ok with that answer.

Mum waved her purse at the barman when it had become our turn, as she was just about to talk to the obviously overjoyed barman, I spoke over her.

‘Can I get a pale ale and a large glass of Chablis for the lady, also, is there any chance of sitting down for food?’ I shouted at him. He said a table should be ready in about 15 minutes, I was happy with that, so asked him if we could get a table when it’s free. He handed me a little device and told me it would buzz when a table was free and I’d have 3 minutes to make my way to the dining area before it was passed on to someone else. Then he got our drinks and we made our way to the back of the bar nearer a dining area and managed to get a third of an inch area on a shelf along the wall. There were 3 girls standing to our left chatting and laughing and a couple of older guys escort zonguldak to our right who weren’t talking at all and seemed to be just finishing up. They both stood and began to make their way towards the door. A tenth of a second after they had left their seats one guy pounced and grabbed a seat and his friend was making his way to the seat just behind me, when I casually slid onto it. Snooze you lose my friend.

I leant forward and asked mum if she’d like to sit while we waited, She said no and as I settled into the seat, she was almost forced by the crowd around us to stand in between my legs. She pulled a face and we laughed, I just shrugged. I leant into her ear and she turned her head to hear me better, obviously, I took this golden opportunity, and every golden opportunity after this whilst I was talking in her ear, to enjoy the view down her top. I know, I’m a devil and I’m going to hell, but when an opportunity like this presents itself, I think it would be rude not to, plus, I don’t believe in that nonsense anyway, so.

‘What you gonna do? It’s rammed. You sure you don’t want to sit down?’ I asked.

‘No honey, I’m alright here, as long as these girls don’t push me this way anymore, I’ll be sitting on your lap in a minute!’ We both laughed. As we chatted, waiting for a table, I casually placed my hand on mum’s waist. I didn’t just plant it there, I started on my thigh, then moved down my leg and every time mum said something, I pretended I couldn’t hear and put my hand on her waist and ever so slightly applied pressure so she’d move closer to repeat what she’d said. It got to the point where I just rested my hand on the small of her back as we talked to each other. We were chatting away to each other when I noticed a girl standing behind mum, every now and again, I’d catch her looking at us longingly, she said something to her friend who immediately turned round and looked at mum and me.

I tried to whisper to mum, ‘I think the girl behind us fancies you.’ She laughed, then leaned forward and breathed into my ear,

‘You sure? I think it’s more likely she fancies you, dear.’ She said.

‘Ah, unfortunately, for her I only have eyes for YOU today.’ Mum suddenly looked up into my eyes, I smiled at her, but she didn’t smile back, in fact, her eyes were a bit glassy. Shit, had I said something wrong and upset her. I edged forward in my seat.

‘You alright? What did I say?’ I asked, concern on my face. She threw her arms around me and said into my ear,

‘Nothing, nothing’s wrong.’ She pulled back and full beamed me with her smile, then she did something completely unexpected, she leant forward and planted a kiss on my lips. There was nothing sexual about it, it was just a quick 1 second peck on the lips, but it lit up my little corner of the world.

I noticed the 2 girls behind mum, making cutesy faces at us. Mum turned around and noticed and, being her way, started talking to them.

‘Hi girls, you having a good day?’ Mum asked.

The taller one responded first, ‘Oh yeah, it’s ok, a bit more crowded than we normally like, we’ll probably move on in a bit. Look, sorry for staring, but you 2 make such a lovely couple, honestly, relationship goals…’ then she just pulled a face and pointed at the 2 of us. I was smiling and just about to explain that I was actually her son, when mum spoke over me.

‘Ow, thanks girls, yeah I totally lucked out with this one, been married 3 years now. She flashed her wedding band at them, that dad had bought her. I was gobsmacked. Was I hearing this right? To be fair it was quite loud, I might have misheard them. I edged forward in my seat to be able to hear better and inadvertently pushed my groin into mum’s arse.

Mum looked around at me and smiled, the 2 girls pulled faces and ‘Aaaaah’ed at us. That made mum laugh, I could feel my face begin to flush, which might have been a good thing, as, at least some blood was getting to my head and not just flowing to between my legs!

‘Look, you’re embarrassing him!’ the other girl said and they all laughed, mum turned around, beaming and cupped my face in her hand. She kissed my cheek to more ‘ahhhh’s from the girls, and then as if god heard my internal cries, our little plastic device buzzed, I picked it up and wiggled it at mum. I stood up, pushing my groin into mum’s bum as I did, she turned to her new friends and said,

‘Well, it was nice meeting you, we’ll have to love you and leave you, looks like our table’s ready.’

Again, as we moved through the crowd, mum led and I kept my fingertips just touching the small of her back. We moved past the girls, who were still cooing at us, at over to the dining area, where a member of staff led us to a table for 2, tucked away in the corner. It was still quite cramped and we both squeezed past people eating and chatting and laughing at their tables. We made it to the corner and were handed menus as we took our seats. We gave our drinks order, another large glass of wine and a coke for me and the waiter left us.

I leaned forward, over the table, trying to keep my voice down, I asked,

‘What was that?’ She looked at me, puzzled.

‘What do you mean? What was what?’ She smiled at me.

‘You told those girls we were married!’ She giggled and leant back.

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