Nightmare, or Lucky Day

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Chapter 1

Rose Birtwhistle arrived home and parked beside her husband’s car, thinking he’d must have come home early to surprise her.

She’d been away three days with her parents to attend the ceremony of her maternal grandmother’s installation as a life member at the Register Nurses’ Federation’s at the federation’s annual conference.

The honour was in recognition of her long service as a leading figure in nursing education.

Rose (Rosie to close friends) entered the house and called out “Ernie” but there was no response.

She thought he must have dozed off and went to the bedroom and stopped in the doorway, mouth hanging open in shock.

She gazed at her husband’s skinny white butt rising and falling steadily as he banged the female beneath him, who had a mass of golden hair spread over the pillow like a TV ad for a brand of hair shampoo and conditioner.

Clearly, she was his PA, Thelma Wilcox.

Rose eyed the trail of hastily discarded clothing across the floor to the bed with disapproval and then called, “Hi Ernie and Thelma, I’m home, half a day early.”

She turned and fled to the kitchen slumped into a chair and began weeping into her folded arms.

They were almost crocodile tears mixed with outrage, humiliation and with a touch of satisfaction that at last she’d nailed the lying bastard, who twice previously had denied he’d been fornicating with other women when she thought she’d caught him out.

The first time she’d found Linda Cousins’ handbag beside the sofa and thought she’d earlier heard the front door close softly. Ernie had come into the lounge with a hair-dryer and was surprised to find her there and holding the handbag.

She eyed the wet ring on the fawn velvet of the sofa covering and immediately thought of the obvious, that her husband had been fucking someone of their sofa and that someone was Linda Cousins.

“Christ, you’ve been fucking Linda Cousins on my sofa,” she yelled.

“No, absolutely not and it’s our sofa. Why pick on Linda to be the centrepiece in this ridiculous fantasy of yours. Are you coming on to heat? I spilled water that I had in my hand when I drifted off to sleep. I cleaned up as best I could and will use the hair dryer to hopefully avoid a water stain forming.”

“Oh yeah, then please explain why Linda’s handbag was left beside the sofa. She must have rushed out the front door, forgetting it, when she heard me entering the house from the garage.”

“Wow, that’s ridiculous fantasy number two. Linda left her handbag at the office and I bought it home with the intention of dropping it to her at dinner time when I knew her husband would be there.”

“Women don’t leave their handbags behind.”

“Linda does, and I can recall twice you had to return to collect yours, the last time when you attended a girls’ night out at MacMillan’s Bar.”

“What nonsense… oh, yeah. I had too much champagne that night… oh, the other time was when I was working at a produce street stall to help raise funds for the local Red Cross and I had my arms full of unsold stock that I purchased, taking it to my car.”

“Yes dear, and how about this, “Can you imagine me being keen to fuck Linda Cousins who still has that patch over her left eye and is still hobbling after falling off her daughter’s electric scooter at speed downhill and crashing into brambles?”

“Um, perhaps not. Look, I’m sorry and I have no credible evidence that you have misbehaved. Just remember, if you need to fuck someone fuck me.”

“Right dear. How about right now?”

“I’m tempted, but you dry the sofa and I’ll prepared dinner. The reality is I’m emotionally wound up and would be unable to enjoy sex right now.”

Rose thought of asking him to fetch a towel from the bathroom and sponge the sofa to remove more moisture before using the hair dryer. That would give her time to sniff the wet mark to see if she could detect body fluids but then thought she should go to the kitchen instead and pour herself a stiff gin to settle her nerves.

The second occasion of suspecting her husband of adultery involved that brassy blonde Thelma Wilcox.

Occasionally, Thelma called around after dinner to assist Ernie with some pressing office work.

They did that behind the close door of the home office and Rose had thought a couple of times did they work on completing quarterly reports 100 percent of the time or did they also do something else.

One such evening, Rose had worked herself up so much that she went up to the door and knocked and waited for a few seconds and walked in, instead of charging in.

What she saw was insufficient to disgust her.

Ernie was adjusting his fly while Thelma began climbing up from on her knees and was wiping her mouth on her skirt.

Oh fuck, she had been committing fellatio on Ernie.

“What have you been doing to my husband,” she demanded, eyeing Thelma.

“N-nothing,” Thelma said. I-I was looking for my pen that r-rolled off the desk.

Rose turned around to demand an explanation but noticed the tenting of his pants.

“You have an bahis ┼čirketleri erection,” she cried.

Ernie looked down as if surprised and simply said, “Oops.”

“Well, I must be going,” Thelma said, grabbing her handbag.

“Mrs Birtwhistle, erections are common occurrences with younger men. My husband has three or four a day, sometimes more, and he claims he never has to think about sex for that to happen.”

“Thank you for volunteering such information but I don’t discuss my husband’s intimate life with other people.”

“It’s your choice, Mrs Birtwhistle. I’m off, bye boss. We achieve a great deal.”

She was left to find her own way out.

Ernie said sternly, “What brought on that embarrassing outburst?”

Rose counter-attacked.

“Was she sucking you off in this room?”

“No, of course not. She’s my PA and was here solely to help me finish off quarterly reports due tomorrow by adding the latest available information. She is likely to be disgusted by your behaviour.”

Rose was stunned. Her behaviour. What about Thelma’s behaviour in almost being caught sucking Ernie’s cock and Ernie’s behaviour in blatantly lying that she’d done no such things. They were liars, the both of them but where was her proof?

She walked off, slamming the door behind her and consoling herself a little that she’d catch the lying fornicator one day and perhaps would consider castrating her husband.

Chapter 2

Head down at the kitchen table, weeping over her folded arms, Rose heard footsteps and braced herself with the intention of keeping calm.


“Yes, you lying fornicator, caught out at last.”

Thelma said sounding surprised, “Have you suspected him of doing it with other women?”

“Shut your mouth and get out of this house and don’t come here again while I remain here or I might be tempted to slap you stupid.”

“Omigod,” Thelma and bursting into tears ran off.

“Was she a great fuck, Ernie?”

“She was good, I guess.”

“But good enough to be worth losing your wife and half of our assets including this home?”

“I-I don’t know what to say. Can you talk about this in the morning?”

“No, sleep in the spare room tonight and pack and leave this house tomorrow. I want a divorce, as soon as possible. Be absolutely fair in our divorce settlement Ernie otherwise I’ll take you to Court and raise merry hell, giving the news media the sort of juicy details that they thrive with the passion similar to hyenas feeding on the entrails of a lioness.”

Ernie looked devastated.

“Rosie, I don’t think…”

“Fuck off Ernie, and move your stuff into the guest room and don’t come near me otherwise you’ll risk being castrated.”

“Rosie, please…”

“Please pass me the carving knife Ernie.”

Ernie slunk from the room.

“Ooh, I feel so good,” Rose said in surprise, wiping her eyes dry. “I feel so fucking good as if it’s my luck day instead of a nightmare over failing yet again to catch my formicating husband up to his armpits in sex, err or whatever.”

She awoke early, showered and left the house, deciding to give her outgoing husband the freedom of all day to clear out his possessions. Presumably with their joint possessions, he’d plunder them to take what he desired or perhaps might contact her later to negotiate what each of them should take and what should become a joint sale, with costs and proceeds shared equally.


She wasn’t particularly fussed although she was no longer as buoyant as she was the previous night when declaring she felt happy to be free. She analysed what she’d meant by that and decided she’s meant free of a philandering husband. She also realized that at least for a while, being free would not leave her in an easy situation.

She thought how does one manage life while going through a divorce and realized she had little idea. Besides, at this stage she didn’t know if Ernie would commit to going through with the divorce and do so amicably. He could be such an asshole at times.

After parking her SUV, Rose ambled along the walk on the south bank of the Yarra River and dropped into a caf├ę open to serve early breakfast. She was alone but was used to that because after work Ernie regularly had squash or touch rugby or the gym for exercise, and now that the situation had become clearly exposed, he probably banged the occasional female friend at the gym.

She would be left along to read or watch TV or, of greater interest, to go window shopping and make the occasional spontaneous purchase.”I haven’t noticed you in here before,” said the caf├ę waitress on arrival at the table.

“That could be true, but I’ve been in here at nights a few times.”

“Are you okay,” the waitress said, looking as if she was concerned.

“Yes, entirely happy, thank you.”

She ordered pancakes with salmon and an avocado green salad.

While waiting for her breakfast, Rose wondered should she leave her job and make a clean break and move to another city.

She then reasoned it would be an inappropriate time to uproot as there was the bahis firmalar─▒ divorce to initiate. Yes, traditionally Ernie left it to her to initiate their joint household business. For the same reason, she ought to continue with her current job as it provided her accustomed cash flow and emotional stability and she had many friends, mostly female, in her position of deputy director of administration at Allen-Goldberg-Hayes, Specialists in Family Law.

At 9.30 she called Anna Hayes and asked for a time to come and see her on a personal matter.

“Come now,” Anna, one of the senior partners, said as she was working on a brief and would welcome a short break.

“After the exchange of pleasantries, Rose said, “I wish to arrange a divorce from my philandering husband.”

“Ah, I had noticed at office gatherings he had a roving eye,” said the 64-year-old lawyer. “But Ernie has been far from being alone in at least eyeing females at our social inhouse functions and licking his lips. Now dear, do you really want to go through the hassle of divorce if he doesn’t transfer sexual diseases to you or humiliate you greatly by sharing it around? You should think deeply about this for two or three days and come back to me.”

“I’ve taken myself through that process over time and my decision is to dump him and I have advised him to that effect and said I wish to be involved in a fair divorce financial settlement.”

“Well darling, that’s explicit enough to satisfy me. Do you wish to have a male or female to handle the wind-up process of your marriage?”

“Female, please.”

“Well Rosie, how about Becca Smith.”

“Brilliant, I have thought of her. She doesn’t know Ernie unless he’s managed to have an affair with her without my knowledge, but I know her well as we often play squash together.”

“But you don’t suspect Becca…”

“No, definitely no but I made the remark nevertheless.”

“Based on that thinking, you should have studied and then worked ambitiously to become a Crown Prosecutor, darling. I’ll call Becca and assign her to you. She will call you within the next day or two.”

Becca called within the hour.

“So darling, your husband has proven to be a louse, and in your view your differences have led to an irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Now answer this carefully, with due consideration, are you absolutely sure that you want your current husband gone from your life for good?”

“Yes, absolutely. I have thought long and carefully about this, aware that some lonely and possibly stormy times lie ahead of me in dumping him for good.”

“That’s explicitly clear Rosie. And you’d like a fair division between you of your joint assets.”


“Right, let’s get on with it. Can you come to see me at 3.30 today?”


“Right, that’s the easy part done and dusted but providing you outgoing husband is fair and reasonable throughout, the remainder of this divorce procedure should progress relatively smoothly, but even so, unexpected surprises could rear up ready to bite us.”

“I’m mentally prepared to deal with anything.”

“That sounds promising.”

At that mid-afternoon meeting, Becca said, “Now please observe these two things from today: Don’t associate with you husband without someone else you trust being with you and that applies having conversations with him involving divorce proceedings. Just say you’ll call him back and you wish to have somebody with you hearing the conversation and recording it on your phone.”

“The second thing is to avoid having a close relationship with any other male or female, ‘close’ meaning sexually intimate, during the divorce proceedings. This is for your own protection should the proceedings tumble off tracks and the divorce proceedings upgrading to dispute resolution hearing or even an application for a court judgement on final resolution.”

“Understood Becca, and I’m aware of these things and that a year’s separation is necessary before an application for divorce can be filed with the court and it could be at least four months after that before the divorce is granted, providing no issues have risen to delay processes.”

“Good, you have a clear understanding of Australian divorce law. If your husband is prompt to register his agreement to join you legally in divorce proceedings including observing the one-year separation requirement, you should have your divorce declaration within fifteen months from now, all being well.”

“Good, and thanks for agreeing to represent me, Becca.”

* * *

It was bad enough arranging and observing that year-long separation before the actual application for divorce could be lodged, but more stressing was dealing with the negative comments of close friends and associates. Some expressed dismay upon learning that Rose had initiated the proceedings, with some saying hurtfully they wanted no further association with Rose while others abruptly terminated their friendship without saying anything.

She’d expected something like that but nevertheless was miffed because she’d not been the adulterer and she didn’t ka├žak bahis siteleri believe she’d given Ernie any reason to stray into the arms of other women.

It was horrible to be openly snubbed by Ernie and her former mutual friends, but after the initial shock it became easier to deal with. Her technique was to smile with a nod and say nothing.

Initially, sleeping alone required a big mental adjustment, and after a few days it no longer bothered her and their cat may not had believed her good luck at being invited at last to sleep on the bed.

For once in her relatively short married life, Rose (32) was relieved that she and her husband hadn’t conceived children although that had been in their mutual longer-term plan, two years away in fact, baring accidental conception.

The other big hit came from the outburst from her parents, two sisters and extended family members that ranged from expressed sorrow (half the time sounding as if she’d been to blame) to the more emphatic cries of alarm and outrage.

Her mother, for example, had demanded through her tears, “What on earth will happen to you now, Rose, as if her daughter was only a few steps away from the Poor House or a life of changing into a hag in very short time as she was not suitable to a future life of living solo.

Rose had pacified her mother expertly.

“Mum, I’ll attract a stream of lovers and that will give me plenty of opportunity to carefully select my next possible husband.

“But where on earth can you find at least more than one potential husband?” replied her mother in disbelief, being of the generations of wives who believed they married in a commitment that would last for life.

Chapter 3

About a month after the start of the year-long separation, Rose experienced an urge that she failed to pacify with her small collection of sex toys.

Realizing that her body was pressing for the real thing, Rose thought of attempting to interest her sexiest friend Rachel Youngman, who remained loyal to her, to consider having a wee frolic with her, um, kissing, licking and all that stuff.

But would that suffice? Rose doubted that and cringed at the thought of ruining a great friendship with Rachel calling her a sick bitch and walking off and saying she never wanted Rose near her again, never.

That night, despite using a new vibrator that the sales lady said was a ‘never-fail device’ and despite adhering to the instructions failing to be truly aroused by the stupid piece of crap, Rose suddenly came up with a brilliant idea. She’d drive a couple of hundred miles from her home where she wouldn’t be known, park her car on a side street in the town, walk to the next block and call a taxi and ask to be taken to the liveliest hotel in town.

She proposed doing that to avoid any traceable evidence that she had visited that city while her divorce proceedings were underway.

Rose did that, and it appeared to be working perfectly until the receptionist said, “I’m sorry Mrs James (aka Mrs Birtwhistle) but we are full tonight.”

“But you can’t be,” Rose almost wailed in shock.

“Indeed, we are; we became full for tonight at 4:10 yesterday and no cancellations have been received.”

“Are you telling me there’s not one room in this hotel of… of…”

“A total of 232 rooms and suites.”

“That every 232 rooms and suites are booked for tonight.” Rose said doggedly.

“Yes, we are fully booked apart from the two honeymoon suites.”

“Honeymoon suites are available? I’ll take one of them.”

The receptionist told Rose the cost for one night and the traveller gasped and resolved to try to negotiate.

“Let’s deal, cut out the complimentary drinks and chargeable extra services and I’ll take it.”

The receptionist said she’d check with the day manager. She returned and gave a quote $135 less than the original quote, and Rose accepted with relief.

“Please book me in for dinner tonight.”

“We only have a few tables left between 5.30 and 6.15 and then it’s full, bursting at the seams so to speak, until sometime after 9.30.”

“A booking for 10.00, um for two using my suite number would be fine, thanks.”

The female porter said outside the door of a suite, “This one would suit you best, ma’am. The other one has a big mirror on the ceiling over the bed.”

“Oh, I’d prefer that suite as I could see for the first time in my life what I look like laying naked on top of my bed.”

The porter gave the impression she was looking at an escapee from a secure mental residential facility and said politely, “An excellent choice ma’am.”At 7:30, Rose checked herself in the mirror and was delighted with her new look.

She was dressed how she thought a sophisticated slut would look and had been out and bought attire.

“Hi gorgeous,” she said huskily.

Rose was elevated on 7-inch heels, her legs had been sprayed expertly for an even light sun-tan look, her short skirt was tight and black, she wore no panties, not that any observer could quite see up that high, her tight gold top was belted and her new bra pushed her firm boobs up well towards her chin, and long fancy drop ear-rings stopped just short of her shoulders. Her long fingernails were painted gold with white speckles and Rose’s long brunette hair was professionally bunched high.

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